Zaida 365 - Day Ninety-Three

Day Ninety-Three - April 25th, 2011
Just hanging out while Mommy cooks dinner.
Ah, sleep. It's like the pot of gold, the holy grail, or whatever Indiana Jones is looking for. But, not for Zaida. Out of all the genetic traits she could have received from the two of us...why didn't she get Brian's easy sleeping genes? Why, oh why, did she have to receive the curse of my sleepless life? Between her disdain for going to sleep and the fact she's such a light sleeper...it's rough. Every nap involves at least some period of crying and fighting before she gives up. Some days it takes at least 3 tries before she's truly out. And, that's just for naps.
A few weeks ago she had a great night. A 6-7 hour stretch, one feed, and then another 4 hours or so. I was elated. But the following night she woke up around six times. And it's never been close to good since then. Last night was a stellar example of sleepless hell. She woke up twice between 7:30 and 10 PM and woke up every hour and a half after that as well. Then around 3 she was up and she would not back to sleep. I tried to nurse her. I tried the pacifier (which, I still hate, but that's another post), I tried just ignoring her. Nothing worked. I felt out of my mind with frustration. She was finally back asleep a little after five AM and slept until 7 PM. I'm pretty sure that was the longest continuous stretch we had all night.
Ugh.
It was suggested that we get the No Cry Sleep Solution, so I just ordered it. I'm pretty sure that the no crying is meant for me, because that's the point I was at last night. I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of the book and will read it promptly. Fingers crossed..
I've looked at this kind of thing in the past but this is the first time I've ever played with it!
Fun stuff!
I've been having all these inner mommy dialogues with myself. I keep thinking they would be good blog fodder. Hey, I could be one of those cool, entertaining, mommy bloggers. As if I wasn't already not succeeding at the things I try to do every day. I kept saying to myself that I didn't have any particular expectations of what life would be like after Zaida was born. Honestly, I didn't think I had them. But, now I realize I did.
I figured there would be a learning curve after becoming a new parent, but I didn't realize I would still be having my ass kicked on a daily basis three months in. In the scheme of things, three months is not that long, and I know this in my head. But the over-achiever part of me feels like such a failure. It's still a struggle to get daily things done. Even running one errand is an epic outing. Little things like popping into the post office seem like a journey that needs a game plan.
Beating myself up is never productive. I try and tell myself we'll get there. It won't always be exactly like this. We will find a new normal.
At least, I hope so.
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