Great expectations are not so great.

I've been having all these inner mommy dialogues with myself. I keep thinking they would be good blog fodder. Hey, I could be one of those cool, entertaining, mommy bloggers. As if I wasn't already not succeeding at the things I try to do every day. I kept saying to myself that I didn't have any particular expectations of what life would be like after Zaida was born. Honestly, I didn't think I had them. But, now I realize I did.

I figured there would be a learning curve after becoming a new parent, but I didn't realize I would still be having my ass kicked on a daily basis three months in. In the scheme of things, three months is not that long, and I know this in my head. But the over-achiever part of me feels like such a failure. It's still a struggle to get daily things done. Even running one errand is an epic outing. Little things like popping into the post office seem like a journey that needs a game plan.

Beating myself up is never productive. I try and tell myself we'll get there. It won't always be exactly like this. We will find a new normal.

At least, I hope so.